The writer in me…Her imaginative ramblings..

A few more days and my entire life is about to change. New job. New schedule. Freedom from debt…joy begins!

After a decade in a job, I do well. I decided I wanted something more. For myself. For my family. To wake up each morning and be excited about a job again. After the joy recedes. Fear sets in. Am I good enough? Can I do this? What if I let them down?

You know those long talks you have with yourself. The ones that talk you out of new and great things. Those are the voices that have kept me up at night after giving my notice. Dreams of failure in my midst. Doubts linger.

I have to start believing in myself. I have to be happy with me. My inner self needs joy, appreciation, purpose again. Assembly line life is no longer my jam. Cooking, wine, fellowship can once again be my daily nourishment. I have been starved of these things for so long. It is hard to see them once more. The freedom to chose. The ability to lead. Again within my grasp.

My family has always been my source of decisions. I have always chosen the safe, comfortable path, the robotic, auto pilot jobs that pay great yet suck every ounce of joy. Leaving a soulless existence it’s only purpose to provide for the family.

In conclusion life is short. Do not stay in a job, a relationship because it’s comfortable. Stay because it challenges you, gives you purpose, joy. Life is compromised of moments you only get once. Take the step even if you cannot see the rest of the staircase. Have faith that moving forward is what you seek and ultimately what you need for yourself, and your family.

That is all I have tonight readers. Writing and life are a work in progress…(just like me)😉