Believe…Behold…Bestow.

These three words have been in my head today. I took a leap of faith an sent one of my books off for an editors review. I presented it to five potential editors. (I am terrified.) After I sent it the tears kept falling. Not out of sadness…joy overflowing.

It is different to write a book. Pour your heart and soul into it. Finish it. Be excited. Then do nothing with it. It saddens me to say I have put this part off. Out of fear…Out of doubt…This draft I have edited five times, shown to no less then ten beta readers. Yet still it sat. On my shelf. In its file… I reached a point last year where my health was on a downward spiral. I was not going to let that happen. I had to much too do. More to say! I decided then. Enough was enough. Now is the time to bring my dreams to light. No more sitting. No more dreaming. Action. Growth.

I am also taking a class on self publishing. I intend to publish my own work. No more waiting or rejection. Just honest work by me. For me. To share my stories with the world. For me it has never been about money or fame it has always been about the characters, their story. I may sound crazy…my characters and I have had lots of conversations. (I have had actual dreams where I am walking with my character next to me an she is chewing me out for the last scene I wrote! )

Being a lifelong reader has helped me see the writer in myself. Understanding that this age is my time…to create something…I can be proud of. Create a story that resonates. Has meaning. Makes someone laugh or cry. It’s an experience to read. It is thrilling and devastating. It can break your heart or renew your faith.

To believe in yourself is the first step. That one is the easiest. To behold your work and see it’s value, that what you say has value. This is tough but necessary. To bestow your work so that others can read it, this is the biggest step, the hardest step, and the one that holds the most fear. It is also essential to completing this dream. This major goal. (I will let you know how it goes.)

That is all I have for tonight friends…I am elated, exhausted, hopeful. Life and writing are a work in progress…(just like me)😉

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