Fall and the beauty of a moment..,

You know those days when you work so hard, you want to cry. Your exhausted, your worried you didn’t do enough… that was me today. I have always been an over achiever constantly working harder, trying harder, even at the expense of my own physical limitations…

Then a coworker said to me… why do you worry so much…your off the next two days… I hadn’t really thought about the why, just the now and feeling like I was a failure because I didn’t finish everything. I had a stepmother who constantly reminded me of my inadequacies…regularly… consistently… it’s one of those things you never forget…

I paused, then realized I had done the very best I could in the time allowed. I was able to breath an be happy, I had accomplished much. I was able to appreciate the leaves changing color… the warmth of the fire…It is crazy how things from childhood, or growing up pop up at the most inopportune times. How in that moment you reevaluate things. Even if there is nothing wrong…

It is crazy how confidence can be shaken by one moment, one comment, one action. We do not realize how our actions, words, feelings effect others even indirectly…how a simple compliment… a single moment can give beauty and release…the colors of the fall do that for me… each leaf a painting etched in my mind..,

So I guess what I’m saying in this rambling is… if you are giving everything you have to whatever task you do each day that is enough..,You are enough. Don’t doubt yourself, feel like you have failed with one mishap or another they are just stepping stones to something better, more fulfilling. Or more relaxing like my campfires and wine…You deserve a moment to recharge, release, relax, there is nothing wrong with that. Work will be there when you get back. Enjoy the time you have to rest, socialize, play a game, read a book, have a conversation you’ve been putting of…just like that leaf waiting to burst into color…

That is all I have tonight friends… life and writing are a work in progress…( just like me) 😉

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