Recovery sucks…

I struggle each day to accomplish minuscule things. Like putting pants on. I try to get projects done, they exhaust me. I am trying so hard to return to the normal I used to have and I’m falling short…

My family is mostly supportive. Yet at times I anger them because I do something stupid like drop something. Or trip. Falling was a normal before my surgery now just keeping my feet steady are. It is so hard to deal with these emotions, the ups and downs, the depression the exhaustion…

My life is in a tailspin not sure how to get out of it. How am I supposed to go back to full time work next month. I hurt. I am tired. I feel lazy if I don’t do projects. My independent self is screaming. I don’t know how to make it stop.

Patience is not my strong suit. I don’t have it. I’m not sure how to have patience or how long I need to. I’m so frustrated daily. My relationships are tight. I need a way out. I need to figure out what to do. But, what?

Am, I weak? Am, I a lost cause? I consistently wonder this, and have since the surgery.

I’m drinking wine. 😓I am crying tears of frustration. I don’t know what else to say. That’s all I have tonight friends. Life and writing are a work in progress… (just like me)😔